Tanzania, Tanzania

What an utterly beautiful country.
I've been there several times before, during my life, but I've only recently felt the urge to write about it.
It's absolutely massive compared to Kenya. Driving anywhere just takes such a long time. But the scenery is amazing almost everywhere.
How unfortunate, then that all Tanzanian officials, be they park rangers, police, or immigration officers, are complete fools. Their undying need to assert their authority over all with whom they come in contact gives a very negative impression to many an impressionable tourist. Every one of them, with the exception of maybe two, is on an everlasting power-trip. Even if they're not trying to get extra money out of you (which is rare), they're still rude, obnoxious and pompous.
Unfortunately, more often than not, they ARE trying to get extra money out of you for committing non-existing offenses or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I suppose the average tourist doesn't usually have to deal with them directly, as their guide takes care of almost everything for them, but if they had any indication of what was going on behind the scenes, they would vow never to come back.

Now, I suppose the same is true for Kenyan officials, but at least Kenyans do it with a smile. Tanzanian "offisa's" are permanently straight faced. Having travelled through Ngorongoro Conservation area three times, Serengeti once, and the Kenya/TZ border twice, I don't think I had a single interaction with them that did not get my back up (and that includes police checks, of which there are many).

Here's what I've learned about East African Offisa's. They're like primary school bullies. They approach you thinking they're scary, and that no matter what they say, you'll immediately be on the defensive, ready to do almost anything to get them off your back. When you come back at them on the offensive, "guns-ablazin", they're taken completely by surprise, and are temporarily unarmed. They're not expecting a "mzungu" to know swahili. They're not expecting that Mzungu to know the laws of their country. They're not expecting that mzungu to not be afraid of them. And they're not expecting someone who is more willing to sit and argue for an hour than to pay a bribe. That is really the reason most people DO pay bribes. They just can't be assed to sit and argue for 10 minutes. It is those people who perpetuate corruption and police bullying in East Africa. If everyone would stop playing the police's trivial games, and just stand up to them, they would have to rethink their strategies.
Anyway, I do have time to sit and argue for as long as it takes. After all, this is Africa, and there's no hurry here. As soon as I get a whiff that I'm being fed a load of bull, I assert my authority as a citizen. The people of a democracy (as both Kenya and Tanzania claim to be) have authority over the government, not the other way around. We choose them (hahahaha, ya right), not the other way around.
When you realize you're being bullied, all you need to do is make a big enough fuss that the supervisor comes around. Then you make a big fuss to him. It really helps to know the laws of the country, in this case, so you can throw some knowledge at them to show that they can't lie to you. If there are tourists and other people around, turn around and look at them while you're arguing. Make the policeman, park ranger, or immigration officer embarassed. Make them realize that what they're doing is possibly going to scare tourists and others away. Basically, just make a scene. They hate that kind of attention.
Two things can happen here. If you are really breaking a law (you shouldn't be arguing in this case), they have every right to cuff you and make you swiftly disappear. If you're not breaking a law, and you both know it, they'll quickly get you to move on. They're bullies, and their not expecting someone to stand up to them.

Anyway, Tanzania is a great place. But my goodness, if you're a tourist, you'd better have some serious cash on you. And be prepared to be frustrated. Their officials almost make visiting even the most famous parts of their country not worthwhile. Idiots. Short-sighted idiots.